You can be completely and utterly in love, but marriage can be somewhat challenging for anyone at certain times. Marriage for business owners and entrepreneur’s alike can be even more stressful and complicated than their counterparts. I am sure that you have heard all those words of wisdom from your parents and grandparents stating in order to have a happy marriage you need to work at it and things to keep the flame lit. A happy marriage for business owners is possible with the following simple tips to keep in mind.
1.) You’re not the boss of me (at home) You own a business and have chosen the life of a entrepreneur. You’re the boss and used to being in charge. This autocracy facade should disappear once you have stepped into the door of your home. You have now entered the somewhat messy and unorganized democracy where you are expected to have conflict and be able to compromise. This transition from ruler of all to partner is not always easy and your significant other should keep this in mind. They should be patient as it may take you some time to complete the transition. On the positive side, you can come home and be in a place where you can relax knowing that someone else is feeling what you’re feeling and they are there to share the load.
2.) A little me (and you) time It’s nearly impossible to get away sometimes when you are holding up the fort. The business could have just started, or maybe it’s a few years in, no matter the stage it requires a lot of your time. It is hard for married couples to make the time for each other, life just seems to get in the way. An elaborate vacation comes to mind when couples think of making time for each other. You don’t need to take a vacation to make time for each other. It is those small uninterrupted moments such as sharing a cup of coffee or taking a short walk around the neighborhood that count. These are where you can share the ups and downs of your daily life. When you are together, it reminds both of you why you enjoy each others company and why this thing called marriage (as complicated and chaotic as it may be some days) is totally worthwhile.
3.) Shut yourself off from the world Leave the phone on buzz or beep and don’t walk around with the Bluetooth as if it were an additional extremity. The thought of it even being on the dining room table, in your lap at the restaurant or on the night stand as you lay your head down for rest can change the very nature of your shared space. Your significant other knows it’s there and they know that your are thinking about it while it is there. If you have control over your own hand-held technology, it will also be easier to explain to the kids that they can spend a little time awhile from their own phones and video games. Plus, how relaxing can it be to be always connected and on call with the world? Put it away and everyone will be happy.
4.) What is mine is yours The business affects your significant other. Your business could be flourishing and you’re thinking of expanding into other states or even going international. With expansion comes traveling. With traveling comes increased pressure in the home. Trying to get approved for a business loan and thinking of using your house as collateral? You better speak to the significant other, they live there too! You can also use them as a source for new and fresh ideas. As a couple, you have managed and made decisions concerning your home life. Why not console in them concerning work? Unlike your nervous employees, you can trust in that they will probably not hide anything or spare your feelings when they are disagreeing with the “boss.”
5.) Hello, I’m over here! Your business is who you are and in someways you are basically one in the same. You have invested countless hours, sweat, and soul into your business. You have used all of your imagination and willpower for this thing to succeed. Most likely, around the dinner table it will be filled with conversations revolving around your work, your day, your concerns and your thoughts. Yes, your business affects your significant other and your lives together. Yes, they care deeply about what is going on with the business and yes they will talk to you about the business but it is not part of them like it is for you. It does not define who they are, like it may for you. They spend their day in another world, apart from the business. They go about their life and are consumed with other matters. Don’t forget they have their lives too. Ask about their day and what they did. You could even partake in their daily routines by making small gestures, such as, joining her at her conference, read a little of what she reads, help out with the kids when they have doctors appointments, give your opinion on the new flooring. Doing this will help you understand each other and you will be better appreciate the other.
6.) I take priority Your significant other knows that you’re a busy person. They also know that you are receiving several calls and emails throughout the day. Your significant other should know that they shouldn’t try to reach you unless it is important and you should keep in mind they wouldn’t try to contact you unless it was important. Your significant other is also busy living their lives and it could be just as hard to reach them during the day. Keeping this in mind and making each others attempts in contacting each other should be made a priority. This will ease both of your minds.
7.) Feeling a bit squeezed in Your significant other doesn’t want to be squeezed into your schedule, like they are a last minute thought. Traveling can be stressful but don’t call your significant other last minute at the airport while your waiting in line getting ready to board. Not only are the loudspeaker warnings drowning out the conversation but your focus isn’t completely on the conversation at hand. A day filled with meetings can also be stressful, but don’t call your significant other five minutes before the meeting. They are already bracing themselves for the ending of the conversation with the infamous “I gotta go.” This would put a damper on any marriage.
8.) The most important client You spend your days sweet talking, wheeling and dealing and winning over your clients hearts. You are the edge of your seat, ready to offer all you have to fulfill their needs and ease their concerns. You are attentive, alert, and appreciative– take all this energy and invest this in your number one client… your significant other! To keep their business, show your appreciation, again with the small things. Court them with small thoughtful gifts, a random little note reminding them that you love them, a little breakfast in bed or a simple coffee– the little things mean the most.
9.) They are part of your life too You should acknowledge your significant others role in your life together. You may spend most of your day in the spotlight and they are behind the scenes, but without the stage crew, you would have no show. Your significant other is a huge part of who you are and where you are at that moment in life. They spend their time and efforts in the other matters so that you can keep your focus on the business. They may save you money by working for the company or made money by having their own job. So go ahead and boost about them! Tell everyone how much they do for you and how much they mean to you. Don’t forget to actually tell this your significant other. Somethings can often go unsaid but don’t let this one slip by with silence. Tell them directly how much you value them and their contribution.
10.) Take a moment Marriage is rough. Marriage can be stressful, add strain, makes each person sacrifice sometimes, and requires a lot of strength. Being in love is one thing but staying in love and managing a marriage is another thing. As a couple, you share millions of stories, whether they are wonderful, amazingly funny, horrible or heartbreaking. Take a moment to appreciate all that you have been through together and celebrate that you are still making it.
Additional tips
Business owners and entrepreneur’s tend to be very passionate. They are passionate about life and especially about their business but they may be consumed and lose moments with their family. You should always remember that your family is the most important thing, then comes the business. As people grow older, they look back and remember the good times, not how hard they worked.
Your family time should be treated as if it were an appointment with one of your clients. You wouldn’t cancel last minute. They must be rescheduled, but never canceled. They can’t be changed without consultation. They take priority.